Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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