Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
