YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
