what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
