everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
