Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
