yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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