Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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