just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize