**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
