he thought i was a dude.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
not ubering you a puppy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
