We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
