i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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