So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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