So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just puked most of my soul out..
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