i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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