im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
