I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
