yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
