Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
