Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
