WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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