Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
