Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
