Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
