Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
