Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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