i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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