I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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