I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
