I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
