She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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