I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
