A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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