Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
