Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
