rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
