i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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