I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
