Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
