Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
