Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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