every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
