Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
