Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize