So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
