gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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