Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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