it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you had me at cake vodka
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm both gender and math confused
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
