I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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