Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
