Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
