I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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