I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
