I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
