pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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