Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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