She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
