I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
