tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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