Sponge bath it is.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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