We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ketchup is God's man juice
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
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so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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