I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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