I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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