her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize