We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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