I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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